My 10-year-old daughter (and Book Monkeys colleague) has a serious book habit that she must feed. This means from time to time I must act like a parent and pay attention to the age appropriateness of her reading material. The need to play the role of responsible adult figure is heightened by the reality that my daughter’s reading ability is at the high school level while the epicenter of her social and emotional life is the fifth grade.This means that she’s capable of reading books featuring illicit sex and grotesque violence (and vice versa) while on any given day the central concern in her life is the boy trying to wipe a booger on her while she stands in the lunch line.
When I am forced to act parental, I typically err on the side of not censoring books or ideas from my kid. Controversial topics are learning opportunities in disguise. Some topics lend themselves to clinical explanation (Where do babies come from? Well, the sperm from the male enters the egg from the female and creates an embryo which grows inside the female’s womb . . .). Others allow a philosophical approach (Why are those two guys on TV kissing? Probably to piss off the people who don’t want them to get married . . .). We’ve tackled everything from the death of Osama bin Laden to the Holocaust. She loves understanding why and how things happen and I love telling people why and how things happen. And since she’s the only one who will listen to my explanations, it works for both of us.
When I am forced to act parental, I typically err on the side of not censoring books or ideas from my kid. Controversial topics are learning opportunities in disguise. Some topics lend themselves to clinical explanation (Where do babies come from? Well, the sperm from the male enters the egg from the female and creates an embryo which grows inside the female’s womb . . .). Others allow a philosophical approach (Why are those two guys on TV kissing? Probably to piss off the people who don’t want them to get married . . .). We’ve tackled everything from the death of Osama bin Laden to the Holocaust. She loves understanding why and how things happen and I love telling people why and how things happen. And since she’s the only one who will listen to my explanations, it works for both of us.
In theory, open-minded parenting is quite easy: Just say yes! In practice, it’s trickier. When my sweet little girl asked whether she could purchase and download a trilogy of books about children killing one another for the sake of entertainment in a futuristic, post-apocalyptical, gladiatorial reality TV show, I hesitated. The books in question were “The Hunger Games” trilogy by Suzanne Collins, who writes "young adult" fiction. At the center of the novels is the eponymous Hunger Games, where twenty four 12-to-18-year-olds are selected by lottery to battle one another to the death in front of a national audience. To win the game, you must be the last child alive.
At first blush, it sounded rather grim. So I did my due diligence. After a quick survey of credible-seeming internet book reviews, and catching a favorable review on NPR, I decided that the trilogy would be a good fit for my daughter. It featured a strong female lead, well-developed characters, action/adventure with a dash of science fiction, and thought-provoking morality tales. Yes, the concept seemed morbid, but I was satisfied, based on my research, that the violence was neither graphic nor gratuitous. I authorized the purchase and my daughter spent the weekend consuming the entire 900-pages of The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, and Mockingjay.
Then I had my “uh oh” moment. At a parent-teacher conference that next week, my wife and I lamented the difficulty of finding challenging but age-appropriate novels for our daughter. One of her teachers agreed that this was a challenged especially for advanced younger readers. She added that some misguided parents even let their children read books entirely age inappropriate. The specific books she cited, of course, were “The Hunger Games” trilogy. Can you imagine allowing children to read books about children killing each other for sport? “Ha ha,” I laughed nervously. "Wow, look at the time."
In our home, we are not afraid of bold moves. Shortly after the parent-teacher conference, my daughter received a book report assignment. She raced home and wrote a nine-page plot summary for what was supposed to be a five-paragraph report. The book, of course, was The Hunger Games, the first book in the trilogy. She condensed it (dad may be a slacker in some things, but he is a demanding editor, of others at least) to three pages and posted it here last week. And no, she hasn't received her grade yet. Meanwhile, dad did what he should have done in the beginning: he actually read the books to determine whether or not they were age-appropriate for his 10-year-old daughter.
I am happy to report that not only did I enjoy these books, I satisfied myself that my daughter will suffer no lasting damages from her exposure to her father's laissez faire parenting. These are serious book about serious matters, no question. But I found nothing shocking or disturbing and found plenty that would stimulate young minds with questions about right and wrong and willingness to sacrifice for a greater good.
I do not presume to announce that these books are right for every 10-year-old, or even most. Certainly, the books are targeted toward older youths with a relatively complicated story line involving political intrigue and rebellion. Young kids who are sensitive to violence, including death of sympathetic characters, might be uncomfortable with this book as well. My perspective is that the violence is comparable to the "Harry Potter" series, particularly the later, darker ones.
Of course, “age appropriate” has no simple or single definition. My best advice to parents wondering whether a book is age appropriate is to know your kid, find trusted reviews, and if still not satisfied, read the book yourself. Or just wing it. If nothing else, it will give your kids something to talk to their future therapists about.
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